A Mid-Season Ranking of Mrs. Maisel’s Men

Joel Maisel

I’ve always had a thing for assholes and, separately, a thing for Jewish guys, so season one’s Joel Maisel ticked a lot of boxes for me. He’s moody, he’s whiny, he’s needy, he says ‘Ma’ like a drawly New Yorker – I didn’t want to be into it, but I was.

Now we’re presented with season two Joel, who is far sexier than season one Joel. He’s aware of his flaws, like when he admits to Midge that he can’t be with her because he’s insecure, and he’s supportive of his wife, like when he keeps her secret and admits he wished he’d been there to see her set at the Concord. 

It’s cute. He’s cute. I like him, even though I know I shouldn’t. Granted, I still have 3 episodes left in the season, so anything could happen. But he’s got a great mouth.

I’d never say no to you, babe. Not til you cheated on me with Penny Pan.

Dr. Benjamin

I have a game I play with myself where I try to match actors to their past roles, including voice actors. It’s a weird talent that I’m very proud of, so when Dr. Benjamin opened his mouth and delivered his first simple line, I awarded myself fifty points for immediately recognizing Flynn Rider’s voice.

I’ll admit that this is a lot of the appeal for me, since Flynn Rider is a total dreamboat, but Zachary Levi is easy on the eyes too. Plus, Benjamin is supportive of Midge’s unorthodox career and a collector of fine art – not to mention witty. Granted, it’s a Sherman-Palladino show so everyone’s witty, but he wears it especially well.

Can’t resist the smoulder.

Lenny Bruce

I know I can’t be the only one wanting Midge and Lenny to smash. (Of course, I also kind of want Suzy and Midge to smash, so my judgment is clouded by general shipgoggles.) There’s something about his crude swagger and devil-may-care attitude that is universally sexy, plus the fact he’s always rumpled and chain-smoking. And who doesn’t like a rascal with a heart of gold who spends his time in and out of jail?

Much like Joel, you may not want to be into him, but face it: you are.

Abe Weissman

Abe is tied with Rose for my favorite character in this whole damn show. Everything he does is hilarious – his romper, his study over of Ethan’s potty training records, his poorly-concealed rage, his feigned shock. His general male melodrama. Even the way he drinks his ridiculous tomato juice is hilarious. 

I wouldn’t even need to imagine I was having sex with his mind to get with him; I’d stare him dead in his wizened, tired face and say ‘please, professor, may I have some more.’

Noah Weissman

Noah may look like a constipated turtle, but he’s in the CIA which is pretty sexy. He’s  also eternally patient and sweet with his high-strung wife, Esther, who I identify with more than I’d like. I like the fact that he doesn’t even flinch when he’s trapped in the car with her and her odorous Chinese paste. He’s a good boy.

Who are your favorite babes from The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel? Do you also play the ‘name that actor’ game? Get in touch, we wanna know. Also, we love you.



image courtesy of sam.

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