I Just Can’t Stop Having Sex, Part Two

I interrupt my own workday to bring you THIS.

I am not pregnant.

By the way, this is Jessica, not Grace.  Yes, I have risen from my grave.  Grace is definitely still pregnant and proud.  I, coincidentally, am petrified of getting pregnant.  Not because I’m afraid I wouldn’t be able to care for a child at this point in my life – I very well could (I have the income, the support and the flexibility) – but because of the following list of reasons:
I don’t want kids.  At least I’m pretty sure that I’m 99% positive that I don’t.

I’m not sure what different types of audiences actually read our blog, but I will state that
1.  I’m aware that the best way to not get pregnant is to remain abstinent. (I’m sure one of us will discuss abstinence and birth control in religion/faith/personal reasons in an entirely different post.)
2.  I’m aware that I have the choice as a woman to not have a child if I were to get pregnant.  But because of what I believe, I would choose to have the baby, pretty much regardless of the situation.  (Again, different post for a different time.)

I don’t want kids.  I absolutely positively adore Grace’s three year old, Lucy.  She is witty, intelligent, sweet, hilarious, and will charm the life out of you within the first 30 seconds of meeting her.  I see her two to three times a year, and it’s the coolest thing ever because I enjoy her spunky, red-headed self for about 48-72 hours, AND THEN I GET TO GO HOME.


I really have to commend my BFF because she hasn’t lost or tossed Lucy yet.  As wonderful as the kid is, she’s still a toddler who has tantrums, needs to be fed, occasionally pees herself, and is going through a phase of calling everything and everyone a “butt-butt”.  I would lock her up in a closet like a Furby. (I’m kind of kidding?).
**By the way, I had to google how to spell “Furby”, and those creepy fuckers run at $80 a pop. EIGHTY DOLLARS for a possessed demon owl-rat toy that continues to make noises after you turn it off.**

There’s really no end point to this post.  All I’m trying to do is educate you, the internet, on the fact that it’s okay to not want kids ever and to not feel bad about it.


My own mother actually applauds my wish.

“You guys definitely suck sometimes, so yeah, don’t do it if you don’t want to; kids’ll break your heart.”  – Sharlene


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